Losing Control

She was just a small girl and everyone thought she was cute because she looked young for her age. To get home from school she would walk through the nearby high school with her family. This brought her into contact with people who she didn't know very well and who also thought she was cute. There was one older girl in particular that thought she was very cute and wanted to spend time with her. Her mother was always asked if she could be picked up and cuddled, but the little girl was never asked if this was ok with her. Sometimes the little girl would tell the older girl that she didn't like her which make the older girl tell the little girls mother, who then told the little girl off. As the little girl got older she thought about this situation some more, and realised that the reason that it had made her so uncomfortable was that she was not asked and it had made her feel like she had no control over what was happenining to her. Also because she was so small when she was picked up the ground was a long way from her feet and she didn't like that feeling because it made her feel more like she had no control. She had wanted to tell them how she felt at the time but had been too scared to say and by telling the older girl that she didn't like her was trying to let them know how that she felt she didn't have control. Sometimes as an adult she still feels like everyone else is making decisions for her and that she still has now control over her life.

 

"You and your folder are finally reunited".

I went to an interview a little while ago and caught the train back. Having gotten off the train and arriving back at my place I received a phone call telling me that my folder had been handed in at what I thought was Merrylands station. The lady said that the station was closing soon so I would not be able to get the folder that day, but to come the next day, but to call first to make sure there would be someone there.
So the next day I went to Merrylands station, calling the number that had called me the day before as I was leaving home. When I arrived at Merrylands there was no one in the office so i called the number that was there. This time a guy a answered and said that he was busy at the moment but he would come when he was finished. I waited 40 mins for him to be finished emptying the bins on the other platform. Then he came and talked to me and I explained that I had come to collect my folder. he found a folder in the office and it was not my folder. So he looked around for my folder. Which he could not fine. He then looked at the lost property site and found it that it was at Marayong not Merrylands.
So I caught the next train to Marayong. While I was still waiting for the train the Lady from Marayong rang me again and said it is an hour since you called me and you have not yet arrived. I explained about the misunderstanding and that I was now on my way to Marayong from Merrylands.
When I finally arrived in Marayong the lady met me and said, "You and your folder are finally reunited".

The Phone Saga.

So in early March I was waiting to cross the road, so I could get to work. I took my phone out to put it on silent and … I dropped it. It landed on its corner and the screen cracked diagonally from that corner to the edge of the screen and then a delta of smaller cracks appeared fanning out over the bottom half of the phone. It was usable after that but it was difficult to use it.I had already thought about getting a new time cause it was no longer holding the charge very well and was becoming unresponsive from time to time. When I got home that night I decided that I would order a secondhand one online from where I got the one I dropped. So I ordered one online and because I was working when it arrived I asked my big bro to take the card to the post office for me and leave it in my letter box for me. So I got the phone and it worked pretty well however I thought I was being too hard sometimes on the power button cause it kept turning on the camera. I put up with it for a couple of weeks and then it started to boot load, basically meaning it was unusable. Cause it wouldn't actually turn on. I went to the local branch of where I got my phone and took it back letting them know it was not working. They tested it and told me that the power button was broken and was therefore not working, they refunded me the money and I had to check my email to get the voucher to sell me another new phone, as the one I was returning was bought online that was the way they were going to refund the money. I then had to pay a little more to buy the new one as it was a little more expensive. But it was pretty easy to do all that and I have now got a phone that works and is still working now.

Why am I here?

I have been wondering lately what my purpose in life is? I feel like up to this point I have not really achieved much with my life. 

I am towards the middle of my thirties and I have never had a boyfriend, I do not feel that this is the most important thing to have achieved but I feel that quite a few other people judge me about this, because to them this is the most important thing. I know that a lot of people do not think like that but I get a lot of societal messages that the most important thing is to find a life partner and to settle down with them.

I personally believe that this is not the most important thing and that you can be perfectly happy in yourself without someone to partner with. It is more important to have people in your life who are honest with you and will support you know matter what. You also need to be happy within yourself and not let others tell you how you should be (I know that is a bit of a weird thing to say considering that I was saying that I worry about what other people think but I am personally working on not worrying so much about what other people think).

I have also been wondering about about my purpose lately because once again I find myself in a position where I a currently between jobs. I new that this was happening but there was a possibility that my previous job was going to be extended, but that did not eventuate. I feel tht I have found my calling but due to the fact that I do not seem to be able to find a job that lasts longer than a year it has got me wondering again. I know that I am just letting my worries rule my head and that I should just trust God but I am finding that difficult because I have lacked stability in my recent life and I do not cope very well with change. It feels like I am never going to be able to find the stability that I crave.

Dreams.

I opened my eyes and she was gone but that had been the millionth time I had seen her in my dreams. She always looked the same. Short black bob, the palest skin you have ever seen and a flowing red dress. This description might make you think of Snow White but it was not her, for a start the dress was wrong and this was definitely not her. I rolled over and tried to get back to sleep but the thoughts of her haunting my dreams would not let me straight away.

# # #

I awoke startled and the hansome young man who had been haunting my dreams for many moons was no longer there. Despite his close cropped hair, which was blonde, and the strange attire he wore, I had never seen anything like what he was wearing before in my life. But I wanted to meet him and get to know him. I rolled over to return to the land of slumber, which I did with some difficulty.

# # #

Ben woke once again when his alarm went off and he couldn't shake off the memories of his 'dream girl' He wasn't sure but on further thought it seemed to him that the places where the girl appeared in his dreams seemed to be rather old fashioned. He wished he could meet her but thought that would be impossible as she was probably not real or definitely not from his time. He had a shower and dressed for work and ran out the door grabbing an apple as he went.

# # #

Jenna woke slowly and watched the sunlight fill the room, as she watched her serving girl prepare water for her to wash her face. She got up and said “You can help me to dress now” Jenna put on her red dress with the help of her maid who pulled the stays tight. The serving woman then helped her to fix her long hair up out of the way so it would not bother her during the day. As she was dressing Jenna's mind started to wander and as it did her thoughts turned to the young man in the strange attire.

Later that day as Jenna was walking through the forest she came across a small pond which she had never seen before. She walked around it as she thought it was strange, but she could not think where it could have come from. She felt that if she could only work out where it had come from she could understand what it was doing there. She decided to continue walking around it so that she could try and figure it out. As she completed her third journey around the pond she tripped on something she couldn't see and landed head first in the pond but instead of landing she just kept falling. When she had finished falling and could sit up she was in a strange place with strange materials all around her, and strange carriages without horses pulling them. There were people all around in strange clothes that she had never seen before, but the more she thought about it the more she thought some of the clothes were similar to what she had seen the man in her dreams wearing. As she looked around she suddenly gasped.

Ben heard a gasp and looked. He had to do a double take because he could not believe his eyes. There was the girl of his dreams. He started saying Ït's You, and at the same time she said it's you.

Invasion of the hatchback.

Sitting in Bible Study with the others praying as we are finishing off. I hear voices coming from outside possibly a little raised but think nothing of it. We finish off and Paula goes off to get the car so that those of us who are leaving can go. Ellie, whose house we are at helps us get ready to leave. Those of us who are going with Paula are Gwen who is 91 years old, my mother Kathleen, my sister Rebekah and myself.

Paula had the car ready to go, it was a 3 door hatchback, so we put the front passenger seat forward and mum clambered into the car, next in was Rebekah and she stayed in the middle of the back, finally I got into the back. Next the passenger seat was returned to the normal position and Ellie helped Gwen get in. Paula got ready to drive off , but now there were a couple of guys running around around in the street. So Paula tried to lock the doors, she got hers locked but just missed out on locking Gwens. The next thing you know one of the guys has the door open and plonks himself on the floor in front of Gwen. My memory gets a bit confused here, I remember that Paula was some of the time pounding him on the back with her hands, Gwen was saying “Get off, your hurting my legs”. The man was saying “You know I would never meant to hurt you”. Meanwhile the other guy is running round and round the car, so the guy in the car will not get out.

Ellie goes inside to ring the police and my mum gets out her mobile phone and rings as well. She is calmly explaining what is going on and suddenly, I hear a more urgent note in her voice “He's got a baseball bat”. I thought no he doesn't, but then I looked up and saw the guy running around the car holding one (Rebekah later said that at the time she thought 'this is Australia, we have cricket bats not baseball bats').

Pretty soon after this the police turned up and dealt with the two men. We were visibly shaken but all in one peace.

The one that got away...

I had just placed my order at the counter in the coffee shop. Turned to go and wait for my order, while avoiding the dangling hearts and cupids, and there he was. I said “Hi” and he replied “Hello” and looked away quickly. I was just gonna leave it at that but, he was as hot as ever and although I new that we were dead and buried, something made me change my mind. So I asked “How are you?” and he said “I'm ok”. My order was up. So I grabbed it and asked if he wanted to join me when he was ready he shrugged. I sat down at a table and started to sip my mocha. I started day dreaming about what would happen if we did get back together and how easy it would be to get lost swimming in his beautiful blue eyes, but I was brought back to reality by “I can't stay long I'm meeting someone.” We started chatting about how life was going, me speaking more than him. He kept looking around like he was not interested in my company, as if he was interested in everyone else but me. Then the door to the coffee shop opened and there was a woman there, she looked around and spotted him, she walked towards us. As she approached the table where we were sitting she said "And who is this?", looking as though I had just been dragged in by a cat.  "Oh, just an old girl friend” he said. She said we have plans and we don't want to be late. So he got up and they walked out of the coffee shop without a backward glance. So he is still the one that got away.